Ranting # 2

Friends...

The characters of Anohana and Ao Haru Ride excellently portrays people's friendship goals.And I must say that I am so envy of them. First, yes I have friends. And second I still feel lonely. What I think that we should do, we cannot do. I can't just force them to do it because I want to. I have to ask them first if they're okay with it.

Plus, in my country, we're not that kind of a planner like Ao Haru Ride. The last episode of the anime made me really jealous because at Summer Vacation, they're planning on what they want to do during the vacation in a cafe. We can't do that here in my country. It's tiring and troublesome. Plus, we are not allowed to go places because people might say that we're . . . You know.

And one thing that made me really jealous of the anime that I've said is the part where I can tell them anything I want. I can't tell them what I feel because they might say something about me. And I have this feeling that our friendship might end. I can't take the risk.

I have always dreamed of wanting my friends to be with me. Like your husband wanting to be with you until you die? That kind of friendship. But it seems I can't find those people. Yes, instead of waiting for your special someone, I'm looking for friends that I can be with. Friends who I can tell them what I feel.

I feel so lonely... I can't find people...

So remember this, If you found people you can share thingsand be with them as long as you want (next to your family of course) you're a lucky person.

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Ranting # 1

Finding out my section the day before school broke my heart because I've fallen to the second section of our school. Meaning my grades fell terribly. After learning about this, I've been thinking what other people might say and what they would think. And about my new classmates. What will their personalities be? Are they nice? Are they prideful? Will they treat me like what my old classmates did? My heart's been beating and I hate it.

But I've learned that I shouldn't think about this small things. I shouldn't care about those kind of things and just face these small trials. Plus I should accept my fate because I can't change the fact that I'm one of the lower sections.

Class started 7;30 am on August 17, 2017. Well, I saw my classmates and they look nice. Some are actually nice because I've met them because of my friends. And some just look nice but their actually... I can't find the right words.

You know why? The past few days, classes were okay until math and English came. Man the others treated out teachers like someone else. Like they don't treat them with respect. They're so noisy and I can't hear what the teacher is saying. I can't hear the lessons because of their loud voices. And I just promised myself that I'll be one of the outstanding students.

And I've been feeling lonely. Right, I said that school was okay and all but I'm actually lonely. I have friends but two of them are in the other section and we don't have time to hang out because of different schedules. And yes, my other friend is my classmate. But because we were reshuffled, of course there are other students from other sections. And she's hanging out with them.

I don't know if I should still be with her or I should just sit on my seat and keep quiet,wait for the teacher to enter the room.

I know school is fun, but I can't help but feel this way. I'm a quiet person, and whatever I'm feeling, I keep it to myself. That's why I made this blog. 

But I hope school would turn right side up. I want to experience what I just experience last school year. Happiness and no worries.

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Ranting # 0

Anime entered my life at an early age. At first I thought they're just cartoons like Chowder, Phineas and Ferb, Ben 10, or any cartoons you can think of.

I could still remember my first anime and it was my first shojo one. Mirumo de Pon was one of the first cartoons that I've been waiting for the next episode everyday. I can really say that I loved it so much. Then came Bakugan, then Fushigi Yuugi. Even though these are my few first anime, I could still watch some episodes of Pokemon and Dragon Ball Z and all I could really think of how boyish I am.But I still go with shojo.

I know, shojo everywhere.

Then after soooooo many years (still watching Fushigi Yuugi though) I grew and forgot about my first anime. Until we moved to another town, a two hour drive to our former one. Me and my sister would always go to our parents' room to watch television so they grew sick of it because they don't have alone time.

So they bought us one. And that's the time when the world of anime came into my life. Right now, I am so grateful to our small television and to my parents for buying us that small TV. Without it, I might be addicted to western things right now and I won't be able to appreciate the beauty of Asia.

So this is my first post here. 

Ja ne~

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